To borrow from my friend A.J., I have been a bad blogger lately. Just day to day life is keeping me so busy that I do not have time like I once had. And it seems so much easier to just post a sentence on Facebook and be done. That is the lazy way, anyway.
I also tend to draw into myself when I am upset or grieving about something. My life right now involves grief as I watch my Mom progress in her Alzheimer's disease. Caring for her is a full time job. My biggest adjustment so far is not having any alone time or spontaneous time to go see friends and family or just grocery shop. For 12 years now I have basically been alone and had gotten quite content with it. Now Mom gets up before I do or as soon as she hears me get up. Then at night she will not settle until all the lights are out and she thinks I am asleep. Caring for her consumes almost all of the time that I am not at work.
I have hesitated to blog about life with an Alzheimer patient for fear I will appear to be whining or complaining. As tiring as it is, it is still a great joy for me to care for my Mom and to know that I am doing everything I possibly can to make her last years as happy as they can be under the circumstances. Hopefully my blogging about this will help and encourage someone else. There have been times in my life when it helped me to know that I was not crazy, others have felt the same things.
There are times of frustration but also times of humor. Mom is getting hard of hearing or maybe just can not understand what I am talking about. I, on the other hand, have only one vocal cord and sometimes I am raspy. It makes for some laughs to hear what she thinks I said. And then there are the days that I feel like the movie Groundhog...Mom asks the same questions and I give the same answers. Sometimes I try to come up with a different way to say the same thing. Quite a challenge!